How to Survive a Difficult Boss

In Nigeria, our culture expects us to respect and greet our elders in a special certain way. Any older person who doesn’t get this respect, feels the his right is violated and therefore could actually demand it. But that is not the same as Bosses. Bosses in Nigeria are practically revered and feared. When you see a boss, you virtually have to bow down to acknowledge him, and if you don’t, you could end up in his bad book. Not all Nigerian Bosses are like this, but the majority of them feels, they are doing you a favour by giving you this job, so you owe them that reverence.

Every job involves stress, but the work environment can seem almost unbearable if you work for an overworked or unreasonable boss. You don’t have to like your boss, but you do need to be able to coexist and work cooperatively with them to be productive and successful in your job.

Let’s face it, you need this job and you don’t want to lose it. You can’t necessarily win in this battle. So, either work with the condition he or she has or quit. Who’s the ultimate loser? 

A doctor once told me that bosses have nothing to lose. You either use your wisdom and get what you want or lose. Instead of seeing it as negative stress, see it as motivation to crawl out there without getting Sore. 

Below are effective ways to deal with a boss without interfering with them or causing yourself stress.

Visualize your Boss as a parent and of you as his or her young adult.

For people whose bosses are younger, this may sound silly at first. The relationship between us and our boss is very similar to that between our parents and us. Just as parents often impose rules that we feel are unfair, our bosses may also impose rules that employees must abide by. As children, we often struggle and experience disagreements with our parents. If the situation is bad enough, once we are older, we find a way to move out and fend for ourselves. It is the same between us and most of our bosses.  Parents aren’t perfect and neither are bosses – both will make mistakes.

Give your best to your job

Be the type of employee you would be happy to have working for you if you were the boss. I know this goes against the idea of getting even and getting back at an unfair boss as much as possible, but if we do our jobs as well as we can, we give the unfair boss less power to make our lives hell. Plus, he’ll think twice about antagonizing one of his better employees. No one wants to lose a good hand. 

Don’t draw attention to yourself. If you’re not the only one your boss has on his mind, there should be plenty of others to divert his rage from you. Have someone else carry the target on their back.

Learn all you can from an unfair Boss

One thing I’ve learned from some bosses who feel like the whole world is falling at their feet is that they are great at what they do. They feel they are perfect at what they do. we also feel like we don’t have a chance. we also feel their uppity nature and probably feel that we don’t have a chance. But YES, we do have a chance. We can learn something from everyone we come in contact with, no matter what that person looks like. We can learn good management techniques from a good boss, but we can also learn how not to act like a crappy boss from a bad boss, as well as other good skills from that same person. Take the content and throw away the packaging. Don’t get personal and dwell on why he or she hates you. Don’t just suffer, but gain something from the situation that will benefit you in the future. Observe how your boss handles different situations and take note of which techniques worked and which one didn’t.

Go to work with a positive attitude 

Try not to let yesterday’s problems spoil today.  Instead, start each day with a new, positive attitude and tell yourself that today will be better. Sometimes we get into a funk, expect the worst, and behave accordingly – we unconsciously force a person (in this case, our boss) to behave the way we expect them to by doing something that could provoke them. Make sure you don’t inadvertently add fuel to the fire. Starting fresh every day is the best way to overcome past differences. Try to avoid confrontation. Know why you are there in the first place. If you hold on to a grudge, you’re only hurting yourself.

Take responsibility

Don’t expect someone else to stop your suffering. Complaining is easy, but it accomplishes little. I had a problem at work with my direct supervisor who, in all attempts to make her see reason with me, failed. I decided to ask someone slightly above her to speak to her on my behalf. Apparently, she misunderstood it to be that I reported her conduct to her boss. My problem got worse. That month I was stressed almost to death over this situation. I regretted complaining to anyone in the first place. This taught me to sometimes just let things be. 

Worrying about a problem won’t make it go away, and not sleeping and dealing with a problem will only make it worse. You will never be happy if you focus on your worries. If you are really in a situation that is causing you pain, you must take action to improve the situation. 

You know what the Roman philosopher said, “Every man is the architect of his own fortune.” Try searching for another job while you are still there. Try to improve your skills through in-house training, continuing part time training, or distance learning?  Even the smallest step in the right direction is progress. A tough boss won’t change, but you can improve your own skills. Why not let your difficult boss be the motivation to improve yourself?